Silk Willow Talk

 

 
So Do You Think They Can Dance?

Dancing With The Stars was a tearful night of the Waltz interspersed with some heavy footed Paso Doble.

Why is it that when bonafide B-rated celebrities decide to make television by joining a talent contest, it never quite gets as exciting as when real average hard-working joes like you and me are given the opportunity to show off what God has given us?

Answer: these B-stars aren’t RAW. Hollywood doesn’t have the same rawness, freshness and awkwardness that you see when you simply pluck someone off the street (or audition line) and make him sing or dance. And that’s what’s missing here. That’s what was missing in Celebrity Duets and Skating with Celebrities.

Nevertheless, I fought my drowsiness with heavy yawning and Tivo’s handy fast forward. With memories of Tom Jones brought back by the dreadful Las Vegas theme song intro, I cringed through the show asking “Who ARE these people?” I vaguely remember Joey Lawrence as Joey Russo from Blossom when I was a tween in the last century. Vivica Fox is some movie actress who appears in movies I don’t watch. Guess that’s because I’m more a Tivohead than a Netflixer. I don’t do sports tv, so the football player is just yet another clumsy figure who moves like Frankenstein on the floor. The only recognizable people to me were the king of tabloid talk shows, Jerry Springer (shown weeping over his waltz with his soon-to-be married daughter — oh the irony!) and eye-candy deeply bedimpled Mario Lopez. So without those two I would be hanging out on Bravo rewatching Project Runway.

This week, they sashayed to two emotional dances:

The Sentimental and Romantic Waltz characterized by

• soft, flowing movements
• effortless rise and fall (make like a carousel)
• serene facial expressions (toss in a few tears)

The Angry Paso Doble, where role-playing is key, requires

• flamenco feet (stomp away)
• marching movements
• defined hand movements
• flavor of the Bullfight

The only attention-worthy performance was the hot Latin guy Mario channeling last year’s winner Drew Lachey; the rest of the time I was lulled into a stupor with the “If I Were A Painting…” and “You Light Up My Life” routines.

Just give me So You Think You Can Dance? instead.

Watch Dancing With The Stars on ABC, Tuesdays/Wednesdays @ 8/7c. 
 
Technorati Tags: reality tv, reality show, Dancing With The Stars, celebrities, celebrity, Mario Lopez, Hollywood, television, ABC, TV, Tivo, entertainment, Drew Lachey, dance, dancing, Jerry Springer, Emmitt Smith

My sympathies to Anna Nicole Smith and her family.

Many moons ago, I remember how one of my earliest Tivoed shows happened to be The Anna Nicole Show. I don’t know why I got so hooked into it. I can probably thank my radar for seeking out train wrecks like a missile to heat source. What can I say, but I have a morbid curiosity for tramps on television. I heard about the Playboy bunny who married the old geezer who just croaked, bequeathing said bunny mega bucks. I heard about how the bunny was fighting her stepson who was several years her senior, for said mega bucks. And I thought, what an awful opportunist! What trash! Then I tuned into her show.

What I saw changed my mind about Anna Nicole. I met her entourage, through Tivo, and had an appointment with them every week. There was Howard Stern, the lawyer friend; Kim, the butch assistant; her poodle, Sugar Pie whom she couldn’t live without and was annoying as heck; and her son Daniel whom she doted on constantly. I thought she was whiny, childish, silly and more than a tad bit spoiled. But she appeared real and genuine to me — she didn’t put on airs and didn’t seem fake; she was authentically juvenile, and above all, was a caring person to her cobbled family.

What I saw was the portrait of the ugly American who scarfed down fast food and milk shakes and went tipsy from over-eating; who, after 9-11, wondered why people in far flung places, in far flung food joints, would decide to blow themselves up for a cause. Yet how could you not be endeared by her: she who cooed to her husband who sat in a vat on top of her television, who got ripped off by an ultra “looxiourious” wannabe diva of a designer named Bobby Trendy and got raked through the coals by the other Howard Stern of triple-X radio. Her denseness knew no bounds and sometimes, it did get on my nerves.

In recent times, she has dropped 70 pounds thanks to Trimspa and laxatives. She just lost her son to a cocktail of prescribed medications. She reportedly “married” her lawyer friend, and just gave birth to a baby daughter. On top of it all, her erstwhile photographer boyfriend is now suing her over a paternity test. Wherever she is, she continues to vamp it up. Shamelessly.

I miss The Anna Nicole Show. I will now have to get my hit from watching that Hilton girl on The Simple Life.

And Daniel Smith, may you rest in peace.

 
 
Technorati Tags:Anna Nicole Smith, Anna Nicole, Daniel Smith, Anna Nicole Show, Bobby Trendy, Larry Birkhead, celebrity gossip, celebrities, television, entertainment, tv, Howard Stern

 
< Thank you to the Daily Blabber. >

I am no longer a People Magazine subscriber since I started downsizing my subscriptions and periodicals. But the October 2, 2006 issue of People with Anna Nicole Smith and her son Daniel on the cover, contains this humongous spread and article on Clay Aiken, so I had to snatch it up from our local grocery stand with utmost immediacy.

That was a nice cap to the Clay buzz that went on for the last couple of weeks, and am just glad Clay’s doing so well. His album, A Thousand Different Ways, is #2 — it actually sold 211,000 — second to Justin Timberlake’s FutureSex/LoveSounds on the first week of release. For a cover album, I think it’s a superb effort.

What is also superb is how Clay is handling his interviews with the likes of Jimmy Kimmel, Jay Leno, Larry King and Diane Sawyer. As interviews go, they always ask the same questions, so this helps to allow for crafted, well rehearsed responses once you hit the tube. But leave it to Clay to inject his trademark gregariousness into every appearance, making it always fresh. So no matter how squirmy those questions can make him feel, Clay is always ready with a hearty chuckle to bring his points home, which are:

• yes he’s on Paxil and it helps prevent his panic attacks no thanks to the castigating bullies of the world who have been harrassing him all these years
• no he’s not answering the gay rumors because it’s none of anyone’s business and whatever he says won’t change anyone’s impressions anyway
• he wants to have kids one day in the biggest way, so I’m putting myself on the line here by saying, see he’s not gay; he wants to be a father so badly he can’t be gay, right?

Out of all the interviews and appearances I’ve seen of Clay the last couple of weeks, my favorite has been the one he made on Jimmy Kimmel. What I find so intriguing is how much the relationship between Clay and Kimmel has evolved over the last three years. As it goes, when Clay first got out of American Idol, Jimmy Kimmel was a late night host who catered to a predominantly male audience. And to cater to them, Kimmel would continually bash Clay, using him as the butt of the rudest late night “humor” you could imagine. What followed was nothing short of amazing as Clay’s fans bandied together to protest Kimmel’s actions. I remember participating in many a spamming session designed to bring down Kimmel’s star. Sure, I was impassioned then, but that was three years ago and was going through some “first-time parent jitters”. I’m not as melodramatic now. But nevertheless, something happened — perhaps Jimmy Kimmel heard our grievances, perhaps Kimmel really got taken by Clay (yeah we always thought he had Clay envy…), perhaps he wanted to open his show to female viewers — and now Clay and Kimmel are best buddies.

If Clay fans can forgive and embrace Jimmy while they line up for Clack, I’m more confident that there’s hope for world peace. But one thing’s for sure, you need to count Simon Cowell out of it…. that jackass.

 
 
Technorati Tags: Clay Aiken, ATDW, A Thousand Different Ways, American Idol, Claymania, Claymates, ClayNation, Measure of a Man, Bubel Aiken Foundation, Jimmy Kimmel, Diane Sawyer, Larry King, Jay Leno, People Magazine, People, Simon Cowell, Justin Timberlake, clack
 
< Thank you to www.claymaniacs.com and clayizzaqt! >