Silk Willow Talk

This is a summary of what has happened so far at the twilight of the summer reality tv season. A requirement for me to actually write this post is to watch umpteen hundred hours of television. Despite my Tivo screaming UNCLE, I forged on.

The finales are upon us. Sadly, my Tivo was (and still is) packed to the gills and ended up trashing The Last Comic Standing and Hell’s Kitchen finales. Yep, they are in the delete pile, vanishing before I had a chance to peruse them, overwritten by other shows on my packed tv show scheduler. When I found this out, I felt like throwing up.

So I had to rely on third party news for some of the recaps. I’m glad I only provide opinions, as opinions never go stale.

My thoughts on the outcomes anyway:

So You Think You Can Dance: Mostly rehash with contestants all dancing previous dance numbers except for gimmicks like the transvestite judge from Turkish SYTYCD, Sierra (whoever she is), Fergie of The Black Eyed Peas (really what’s with the awful guest spots on the Simon Fuller shows?), and short solos from the finalists. Gush. Fawn. Marvel. Praise. So much love from the judges. So not like American Idol. And Benji IS IT! Told you the girls were toast. I love crying Benji. He’s so adorable. Travis was great and a perfect sport. Hats off to you, man.

Last Comic Standing: I cheated via you tube. Whatever. I’m SOOOoooo happy Josh Blue won. The top 2, Josh and Ty Barnett, were most deserving. That guy Chris Porter (3rd placer), with his overtly adult content, was way too weird for my taste. I’m too much of a prude to appreciate him. I so much prefer politically incorrect jokes about the physically challenged and the special olympics. JOSH BLUE ROCKS!!!!

Hell’s Kitchen: What can I say but the right person took it. No surprise that Heather, who stood out as a clear leader from day one, would triumph. She was the audience favorite many weeks in a row. She was predestined to win. Still I hate my Tivo for eating my finale and keeping me from savoring those last few delectable moments of Ramsay’s Hell.

America’s Got Talent: Whaaaat??! How could America pass on the Millers — the Miller kid is a harmonica playing prodigy who dare I say would give Taylor Hicks a run for his reputation? How could they snub my personal favorite (!), the truly awesome, spectacular modern day illusionist and wizard, the terrific [add more superlatives here] Nathan Burton! (I prefer him to the serious David Copperfield or the ultra glum David Blaine.) HE WUZ ROBBED!!! And what about All That, the tap dancing quintet channeling Chippendales and Riverdance? Or At Last, the Asian quartet who beatboxes and does harmonized a cappella? How could these talents actually lose? Tell me America, what is so great about YET another child singer with Aretha Franklin’s voice straight out of America’s Most Talented Kids or Star Search? And my biggest question of all: why do little singing kids leave me cold? A completely unique act could’ve won — instead, Bianca Ryan did.

All in all, it was an enjoyable summer season. Now if only my Tivo had a neck so I can wring it.

If you’re watching Rock Star Supernova, then good for you. You are undoubtedly watching the best show this summer. I find that this season’s bunch is superior to last year’s talent and better than most of who or what American Idol has churned out. Don’t get me wrong — American Idol is still the finest reality talent show there is — after all, what AI has, over and above all other shows, is its regular stable of characters who continue to entertain: from the inane judges to the quick-witted, affable host. On the other hand, what Rock Star has is actual talent, unless of course you are not a rock music fan (rock music in this case covers everything that was at one point edgy or cool throughout the years), in which case you can knock yourself out with repeated auditions of “Sugarpie Honeybunch” and “I Have Nothing” over at FOX.

I’ve also been watching “So You Think You Can Dance?”, which is produced by one of American Idol’s co-producers, Nigel Lythgoe. He claims of course that this dancing contest has been besting the ratings for the summer season. Yeah right… I can’t believe this show is actually kicking Rock Star’s butt. Sure it’s fun as well, but does America really prefer watching the tango and quickstep over some crazy ass cover of Creep or even 867-5309? Could it be because Benji Schwimmer has attracted vast legions of Claymates to the show? Just to get this straight: Benji is the swing dancer while Clay is the pop artist who emerged from American Idol Season 2 some eons ago. Apparently Benji is a Clay Aiken doppelganger. Let’s see if he triumphs over Travis. That said, the girls in the show are toast. Wonder if I’ll eat my words after this week?

As for Rock Star, there’s one contestant there who captured my attention with his vocal and piano rendition of Losing My Religion a couple of weeks ago. He comes across as a cross between George Clooney and Adam Sandler.
Except without the personality. Sigh. I wish he’d loosen up a little and engage in a little more banter with the judges and Mr. Red Hot Chili Pepper himself (Dave Navarro). Ryan, dude, smile a little will you? The girls would love it. And do us a favor, don’t get kicked off yet.